Do you see mine, do your understand my plea?

Interrupt me, find me,

lose me, do whatever you have to.

I can’t hide

and find

that I’ve been all I need to see,

but wouldn’t cross the sea,

as I didn’t see

what was meant to be.

I’m sorry, don’t plea

just fight for me.

Until you see

and talk to me.

That’s all I need,

life and just glee.

Please just don’t

be mean to me,

and they’ll finally be

what they’re always meant to me.

To Someone

who finally cared about me,

eyes mine, all to blinded

by the many lies

to see what I gave up

For thee,

it’s infinite death to the mystery.

And now

it’s all going to make you believe.

Yeah, I save it for you.

Unless it was a dyre need

Delete it or talk it out?

Delete it or talk it out? Run from your life and don’t respond? Or have trust to your partner and in each other to respond in a respectful tone?

Relationships are tough, but our own personal views on situations like these are simple. Do differing views make us incompatible? Or just rigid and unable to grow up? Do you trust yourself to do the right thing? Have the right words to say?

Well fuck I don’t know but hearing that these differing viewpoints, caused a six year relationship to come to an end is a clear indication that whomever deleted it and never talked it out has something they aren’t willing to overcome, because it is evident that both parties came to this predicament before.

Pretty heartbreaking that responding, or “entertaining” others and not deleting anything looks “worse” on a persons character than hiding altogether. It’s pretty sad knowing and seeing something that was deleted and forced concealed come to light in the worst way. The irony is, that is what made me come to the conclusion it was over in the first place.

That he chose the wrong words, the wrong woman and “your man’s a cheater boo” is all I got out of it all. Yet it was never in the inbox, no opportunity to talk it out, no chance to give ME a fighting chance. So.. I’ll go, thanks for giving me a reason because my stubborn heart just wouldn’t let you go, until now. And now I’m free to hurt on my own.

Your roots are yours.

For what way might I cut you down if you stand tall, if you are a tree surly you will not fall. You nutrients you give earth have taken hold. Surly I have not seen your roots, as they are beneath you, they are the stronghold which you have to hold your life experience. It is not mine, but yours. I would not cut you down, are you sure that you have been flexible enough to weather all that’s around you? It is not me who has cut you down, but your own sight and decision of what it is you see. I’ll be there if only you allow me. The unless of life, is where you decide what you allow and what you do not, so decide if it was me who truly cut your branches and your trunk because it was bleeding, but if I did not grind out your trunk and dig out yours roots… as you’re only one who knows them to be true. I surely could not know the location to find them, unless you let me in. It’s not my decision but yours. I’ve lived enough to know that I have no intention of ravaging all that you are, only curious to see just how how you perceived it all. It’s not mine but yours, what’s mine is my experience and in yours… do you think I’m the one to take anything from you? Let’s count when it was, that, I decided to let you go, and not look back. But once. How many times did you decide not to seek me truly. I’d never had anyone truly seek me nor follow through to those things I said so can you blame me for not realizing that you would do all that we talked about? I’m sorry that my basis of understanding was from the depths of hell but that’s where I had lived, you couldn’t see, but that was the road I was on and it was hard to get back to you, and remember just how much I had to offer.

Oceans away

I look out at the sky meeting the sea and all I can think of is the ocean’s

see youu’re

away from me again.

When will you let me make this right

you said no

and I didn’t like the way you let me go

You left me leave crying without you

I couldn’t bear,

the weight of the world coming back over my head again.

Why do you make me feel the pain you felt

when

I lost you all over again.

You saw me there, and you let me walk away again,

how can I trust a love that youu’re not believing in?

Let me make you see those years away we’re meant for you and me,

we’ll have our time

If only I could fly away

Move the world to make this right again.

We’d change the world

open’in all their eyes

The beauty here will not fade

if only you let all the light in

The moon is beautiful at night

but imagine the shining we could do in the daylight

if only you believed that you

belonged with me

Youu’re allowing the darkness to fade

what we had,

what we could be has only just begun.

The light is searching for someone

A lighthouse without

A way to reach the world

Fades to darknesses don’t let it fallout

Our world needs us now,

My world needs you

again,

so I’ll claim up to the sky

To reach my

Golden egg, will you help me climb

Back down again?

Please say you will, shine togetherness

And sing that love, with me.

Social Media… A Rant

“Sometimes there is so much more to life, and many generations after mine.. will never receive those gifts. A wise person once said, “Look up…” before the world passes you by.” – H.M.L. Murphy

When I think about all the time I’ve spent on other people who didn’t give a rat’s ass why I was doing it, it makes me realize how little my time meant to these self-deprecating, leeches that are just happy that you choose them. People were made to give what they can and to celebrate who they are without defining themselves by a tiny piece of what this earth should mean to them. Things. Big things small things, nice things, fancy things, things that make you look good, things that make you feel good.

Well, to tell you the truth these things are building people up in a way that is insufficient for life on this planet we call earth. We have begun to feed into the egotistical part of “keeping up” with whatever it is in the media that we find to be ‘important’ or ‘relevant’ this is keeping the world blind, there still has been no change in the problems that we face, and the thing is that the stories just continue to get worse and more embarrassing for humanity. So… wake up, and just do it.

FOCUS on something other than your phone screen, because it will change your perspective about yourself and your media addiction, that get away that you have always wanted to plan, don’t waste it staring at another screen that has occupied you long enough for it to be a part of your relationship, a part of your team, that is… referred to as a personal relationship. I’m sure you would get the words out that you have needed to say for the past few weeks, if you could hold the attention of your significant other long enough to have these important conversations… rather than allowing them to build up into a ball of emotional wreck. 

If you post on social media how you are feeling… it is typically because you are not spending enough time on the things you love or the people who matter to you most. You are venting to an endless realm of “look at me”, I feel sorry for you. If you are out there trying to inspire, create or promote self-awareness, good for you, hopefully you are actually practicing the preach of your Facebook timeline. 

Why didn’t you tell me you stay?

All those nights

I cried my-self to sleep

I don’t know that

You were the one for me

I sat here screaming at the sheet

What the hell is wrong with me?

I can’t take another stray

Because I wanted you to stay

Your no unsettled my courage

and shook my middle earth

If now all I could do, was look at you

Please say that, you would want me too

All those nights

I cried-my self to sleep

I don’t know that

you were the one for me

I sat here screaming at the sheet

What the hell is wrong with me?

If I could run away,

and find you runnin’ through those streets,

Tell me you’d see it my way

And take all my hurt away

The virus

That virus that infected all…

I felt it creep up, in my blood

Bobb up and down, in my throat

with the Jameson, that I chased IT down WITH

I fought, And i cussed it out

and-gave it ALL hell.

I started to feel it at Al’s,

slowly breakin’ me down

Eatin’ away at my fluids, and I couldn’t construe it.

I feel it in my head, it’s got me question’n,

my sight, when I never did.

No sleeep WITHout you,

let me run back to you.

You let me down,

and I let you in, no restriction.

Yet I feel it now,

and it’s break in’ me down.

How could I, let this through ?

The phi delt’ it’s felt, my God..

oh no, here it comes..

A-nother oneee.

A brewed so bold,

that it takes a hold,

will I let it in?

And Get,

Underneath my skin.

If I do, you all know

I’ll FIGHT, as if it’s for my life.

If it brings be down,

just know that-I hate you now.

Oh it’s pool-in blood, on my Achilles-tenDone.

What am I to do-now but

Try and run

and try to stomp it out?!

Oh Covid 19, let me tell you,

you’re not a dream, but-a true nightmare

that we ALL-just totally, fuck-Ing care.

If you can, I’ll doubt me now..

Then I’ll-just, go all out,

and make-you eat it up

All the white-and inosi-tal.

Yeah-It fuck-ing, broke me down

and I know you can’t-go now..

but this one..-It,

killed me too,

and I have no doubt,

it has a hold of you.

As if you EVEn-care.

You’re my walkING-Nightmare.

I stare and gaze, Ahround

like a FuCKINg dog hound.

WTF is Happening, is this IN fectTINg Me.

Like a Moose With A Muffin Like,

The fucking Dominos-A tumblin’

Insomnia (feat Parson James) By: Audien

https://youtu.be/4kRQh8ZNiJkhttps://youtu.be/4kRQh8ZNiJk

Today, was hard. Keep Going.

Holding on by a thread, making time

Wasting life, instead

Hurting, walking bleeding red

Trying to make sense of it all

Time passed, a lost connection

Missing pieces, all the attractions

Keeping busy, fire fighting

You sorry lost soul, don’t stop finding.

Your heart may hurt, but mine was stolen

If you see it now, lead the way, cause life just ain’t the same

Without you here, ohh I’m

Hurting, walking bleeding red,

Trying to make sense of it all,

Time passed, a lost connection

Missing pieces, all the attractions

Find me now, I won’t stop fighting, if you can hear me now I need my knight, my armor is worn

I won’t stop fighting, rivers cutting deep

These rough edges are smooth, I’m coming home soon.

Will you go home with me?

Take me home.

Social Media… A Rant

“Sometimes there is so much more to life, and many generations after mine.. will never receive those gifts. A wise person once said, “Look up…” before the world passes you by.” – H.M.L. Murphy

When I think about all the time I’ve spent on other people who didn’t give a rat’s ass why I was doing it, it makes me realize how little my time meant to these self-deprecating, leeches that are just happy that you choose them. People were made to give what they can and to celebrate who they are without defining themselves by a tiny piece of what this earth should mean to them. Things. Big things small things, nice things, fancy things, things that make you look good, things that make you feel good.

Well, to tell you the truth these things are building people up in a way that is insufficient for life on this planet we call earth. We have begun to feed into the egotistical part of “keeping up” with whatever it is in the media that we find to be ‘important’ or ‘relevant’ this is keeping the world blind, there still has been no change in the problems that we face, and the thing is that the stories just continue to get worse and more embarrassing for humanity. So… wake up, and just do it.

FOCUS on something other than your phone screen, because it will change your perspective about yourself and your media addiction, that get away that you have always wanted to plan, don’t waste it staring at another screen that has occupied you long enough for it to be a part of your relationship, a part of your team, that is… referred to as a personal relationship. I’m sure you would get the words out that you have needed to say for the past few weeks, if you could hold the attention of your significant other long enough to have these important conversations… rather than allowing them to build up into a ball of emotional wreck. 

If you post on social media how you are feeling… it is typically because you are not spending enough time on the things you love or the people who matter to you most. You are venting to an endless realm of “look at me”, I feel sorry for you. If you are out there trying to inspire, create or promote self-awareness, good for you, hopefully you are actually practicing the preach of your Facebook timeline.