Author Archives: Hillary Murphy

"If only you could see the other side of me." Here for the thoughts never spoken, and the feelings over felt.

The virus

That virus that infected all…

I felt it creep up, in my blood

Bobb up and down, in my throat

with the Jameson, that I chased IT down WITH

I fought, And i cussed it out

and-gave it ALL hell.

I started to feel it at Al’s,

slowly breakin’ me down

Eatin’ away at my fluids, and I couldn’t construe it.

I feel it in my head, it’s got me question’n,

my sight, when I never did.

No sleeep WITHout you,

let me run back to you.

You let me down,

and I let you in, no restriction.

Yet I feel it now,

and it’s break in’ me down.

How could I, let this through ?

The phi delt’ it’s felt, my God..

oh no, here it comes..

A-nother oneee.

A brewed so bold,

that it takes a hold,

will I let it in?

And Get,

Underneath my skin.

If I do, you all know

I’ll FIGHT, as if it’s for my life.

If it brings be down,

just know that-I hate you now.

Oh it’s pool-in blood, on my Achilles-tenDone.

What am I to do-now but

Try and run

and try to stomp it out?!

Oh Covid 19, let me tell you,

you’re not a dream, but-a true nightmare

that we ALL-just totally, fuck-Ing care.

If you can, I’ll doubt me now..

Then I’ll-just, go all out,

and make-you eat it up

All the white-and inosi-tal.

Yeah-It fuck-ing, broke me down

and I know you can’t-go now..

but this one..-It,

killed me too,

and I have no doubt,

it has a hold of you.

As if you EVEn-care.

You’re my walkING-Nightmare.

I stare and gaze, Ahround

like a FuCKINg dog hound.

WTF is Happening, is this IN fectTINg Me.

Like a Moose With A Muffin Like,

The fucking Dominos-A tumblin’

Insomnia (feat Parson James) By: Audien

https://youtu.be/4kRQh8ZNiJkhttps://youtu.be/4kRQh8ZNiJk

Today, was hard. Keep Going.

Holding on by a thread, making time

Wasting life, instead

Hurting, walking bleeding red

Trying to make sense of it all

Time passed, a lost connection

Missing pieces, all the attractions

Keeping busy, fire fighting

You sorry lost soul, don’t stop finding.

Your heart may hurt, but mine was stolen

If you see it now, lead the way, cause life just ain’t the same

Without you here, ohh I’m

Hurting, walking bleeding red,

Trying to make sense of it all,

Time passed, a lost connection

Missing pieces, all the attractions

Find me now, I won’t stop fighting, if you can hear me now I need my knight, my armor is worn

I won’t stop fighting, rivers cutting deep

These rough edges are smooth, I’m coming home soon.

Will you go home with me?

Take me home.

Social Media… A Rant

“Sometimes there is so much more to life, and many generations after mine.. will never receive those gifts. A wise person once said, “Look up…” before the world passes you by.” – H.M.L. Murphy

When I think about all the time I’ve spent on other people who didn’t give a rat’s ass why I was doing it, it makes me realize how little my time meant to these self-deprecating, leeches that are just happy that you choose them. People were made to give what they can and to celebrate who they are without defining themselves by a tiny piece of what this earth should mean to them. Things. Big things small things, nice things, fancy things, things that make you look good, things that make you feel good.

Well, to tell you the truth these things are building people up in a way that is insufficient for life on this planet we call earth. We have begun to feed into the egotistical part of “keeping up” with whatever it is in the media that we find to be ‘important’ or ‘relevant’ this is keeping the world blind, there still has been no change in the problems that we face, and the thing is that the stories just continue to get worse and more embarrassing for humanity. So… wake up, and just do it.

FOCUS on something other than your phone screen, because it will change your perspective about yourself and your media addiction, that get away that you have always wanted to plan, don’t waste it staring at another screen that has occupied you long enough for it to be a part of your relationship, a part of your team, that is… referred to as a personal relationship. I’m sure you would get the words out that you have needed to say for the past few weeks, if you could hold the attention of your significant other long enough to have these important conversations… rather than allowing them to build up into a ball of emotional wreck. 

If you post on social media how you are feeling… it is typically because you are not spending enough time on the things you love or the people who matter to you most. You are venting to an endless realm of “look at me”, I feel sorry for you. If you are out there trying to inspire, create or promote self-awareness, good for you, hopefully you are actually practicing the preach of your Facebook timeline. 

Heart in the clouds

Let the clouds be swept away

So we can have this day

A chance to change

How we feel about the past

Mistakes change

The sights were set to see out

When the sun comes

We will see out those dreams

You and me, the love I tucked away

A chance to change the way we feel about the past

Can invite us to make a future

Taking the change we can see

The sights we’ve set to see out

When the time began, and began again

Words For You

When you cant decide,

what you’re feeling inside

You must change the scene,

 and don’t let em’ say what their seeing

Ain’t good enough, 

For you and me.

Come forward and tell me 

what you see through 

the screen of your life

and the body that holds you

But don’t let that define you, 

its what you can’t see

but you’ll find if you listen.

The things you’ve been missin’

Ain’t good enough, 

For you and me.

Come forward and tell me 

You can be my lighthouse, 

The one who makes

it time to finally let me see. 

Where are we? Not here nor there, together? Not yet…

My jaw tight

The atmosphere clear

My eyes tear

The moon is near

My flame burns

The stars glimmer

My pain steers

The hurt revers

My hope reappears

The time is here

My love will bear

The trees hear

My heart pounds

With the thought of you here…

Oceans Eyes

Move the world to make you right

We’d change the world

open’in all their eyes

what we could be has only just begun.

light’s searching for someone

This tale will never fade

let the light shine, refined, it’s time

pixel lines in her eyes

Too small to find

a letter sealed may sail

Rhythms breach the void

Move the world to make this right

We’d change the world

open’in all their eyes

what we could be has only just begun.

The light is searching for someone

The words of your heart,

forgive me if it is to say

My heart pounding here without your founding, my breath is shallow, As you likely see my heart

but my eyes speak to you

an old truth, one seen in the dark without the fire in your heart.

Move the world to make this right

We’d change the world

open’in all their eyes

what we could be has only just begun.

The light is searching for someone

I look out at the sky meeting the sea and all I can think of

is the ocean’s

you’re away from me.

Dancing away the fear and crystallizing tears.

Why does healing hurt just as badly as the pain that caused it?

We’re breaking just to find the means to heal, and my dear that takes courage…

…wit, grit, and dancing in the rain to wash away that dreadful distain.

We will not continue to harden.

We will rise to the occasion of our hope.

Rid ourselves of drowning in open waters.

And swim to the shore, look back and dry the tears that cover us in fear.

Because in this story the only salt I’m keeping, is in my beach waved hair.

Pedals revised, roses reborn

Sometimes we need time

for them to resurface..

because at the time

you have no understanding

of what even happened…

with time healing will come.

Unpacking… the way we open

the time capsule, of ourselves,

and have appreciation for our strength,

through it, and the course we chose to take

when we go through each parcel that we’ve

compartmentalized in our mind,

the maze of replanting each flower.

The thorns of our choices

and the beauty of each pedal of joy

as it falls to be reborn.