Do you see mine, do your understand my plea?

Interrupt me, find me,

lose me, do whatever you have to.

I can’t hide

and find

that I’ve been all I need to see,

but wouldn’t cross the sea,

as I didn’t see

what was meant to be.

I’m sorry, don’t plea

just fight for me.

Until you see

and talk to me.

That’s all I need,

life and just glee.

Please just don’t

be mean to me,

and they’ll finally be

what they’re always meant to me.

To Someone

who finally cared about me,

eyes mine, all to blinded

by the many lies

to see what I gave up

For thee,

it’s infinite death to the mystery.

And now

it’s all going to make you believe.

Yeah, I save it for you.

Unless it was a dyre need

Delete it or talk it out?

Delete it or talk it out? Run from your life and don’t respond? Or have trust to your partner and in each other to respond in a respectful tone?

Relationships are tough, but our own personal views on situations like these are simple. Do differing views make us incompatible? Or just rigid and unable to grow up? Do you trust yourself to do the right thing? Have the right words to say?

Well fuck I don’t know but hearing that these differing viewpoints, caused a six year relationship to come to an end is a clear indication that whomever deleted it and never talked it out has something they aren’t willing to overcome, because it is evident that both parties came to this predicament before.

Pretty heartbreaking that responding, or “entertaining” others and not deleting anything looks “worse” on a persons character than hiding altogether. It’s pretty sad knowing and seeing something that was deleted and forced concealed come to light in the worst way. The irony is, that is what made me come to the conclusion it was over in the first place.

That he chose the wrong words, the wrong woman and “your man’s a cheater boo” is all I got out of it all. Yet it was never in the inbox, no opportunity to talk it out, no chance to give ME a fighting chance. So.. I’ll go, thanks for giving me a reason because my stubborn heart just wouldn’t let you go, until now. And now I’m free to hurt on my own.

Oceans away

I look out at the sky meeting the sea and all I can think of is the ocean’s

see youu’re

away from me again.

When will you let me make this right

you said no

and I didn’t like the way you let me go

You left me leave crying without you

I couldn’t bear,

the weight of the world coming back over my head again.

Why do you make me feel the pain you felt

when

I lost you all over again.

You saw me there, and you let me walk away again,

how can I trust a love that youu’re not believing in?

Let me make you see those years away we’re meant for you and me,

we’ll have our time

If only I could fly away

Move the world to make this right again.

We’d change the world

open’in all their eyes

The beauty here will not fade

if only you let all the light in

The moon is beautiful at night

but imagine the shining we could do in the daylight

if only you believed that you

belonged with me

Youu’re allowing the darkness to fade

what we had,

what we could be has only just begun.

The light is searching for someone

A lighthouse without

A way to reach the world

Fades to darknesses don’t let it fallout

Our world needs us now,

My world needs you

again,

so I’ll claim up to the sky

To reach my

Golden egg, will you help me climb

Back down again?

Please say you will, shine togetherness

And sing that love, with me.

The virus

That virus that infected all…

I felt it creep up, in my blood

Bobb up and down, in my throat

with the Jameson, that I chased IT down WITH

I fought, And i cussed it out

and-gave it ALL hell.

I started to feel it at Al’s,

slowly breakin’ me down

Eatin’ away at my fluids, and I couldn’t construe it.

I feel it in my head, it’s got me question’n,

my sight, when I never did.

No sleeep WITHout you,

let me run back to you.

You let me down,

and I let you in, no restriction.

Yet I feel it now,

and it’s break in’ me down.

How could I, let this through ?

The phi delt’ it’s felt, my God..

oh no, here it comes..

A-nother oneee.

A brewed so bold,

that it takes a hold,

will I let it in?

And Get,

Underneath my skin.

If I do, you all know

I’ll FIGHT, as if it’s for my life.

If it brings be down,

just know that-I hate you now.

Oh it’s pool-in blood, on my Achilles-tenDone.

What am I to do-now but

Try and run

and try to stomp it out?!

Oh Covid 19, let me tell you,

you’re not a dream, but-a true nightmare

that we ALL-just totally, fuck-Ing care.

If you can, I’ll doubt me now..

Then I’ll-just, go all out,

and make-you eat it up

All the white-and inosi-tal.

Yeah-It fuck-ing, broke me down

and I know you can’t-go now..

but this one..-It,

killed me too,

and I have no doubt,

it has a hold of you.

As if you EVEn-care.

You’re my walkING-Nightmare.

I stare and gaze, Ahround

like a FuCKINg dog hound.

WTF is Happening, is this IN fectTINg Me.

Like a Moose With A Muffin Like,

The fucking Dominos-A tumblin’

Insomnia (feat Parson James) By: Audien

https://youtu.be/4kRQh8ZNiJkhttps://youtu.be/4kRQh8ZNiJk

Dancing away the fear and crystallizing tears.

Why does healing hurt just as badly as the pain that caused it?

We’re breaking just to find the means to heal, and my dear that takes courage…

…wit, grit, and dancing in the rain to wash away that dreadful distain.

We will not continue to harden.

We will rise to the occasion of our hope.

Rid ourselves of drowning in open waters.

And swim to the shore, look back and dry the tears that cover us in fear.

Because in this story the only salt I’m keeping, is in my beach waved hair.

Pedals revised, roses reborn

Sometimes we need time

for them to resurface..

because at the time

you have no understanding

of what even happened…

with time healing will come.

Unpacking… the way we open

the time capsule, of ourselves,

and have appreciation for our strength,

through it, and the course we chose to take

when we go through each parcel that we’ve

compartmentalized in our mind,

the maze of replanting each flower.

The thorns of our choices

and the beauty of each pedal of joy

as it falls to be reborn.

A note for you

If I had the chance to, I would have loved you.

With every sundown until every sun up.

You were the man of my dreams.

I hit my head, two concussions…

Had I remembered who you were then.

I would have loved you, I would have left him.

I didn’t remember, and I am torching my heart everyday thinking about it.

remembering you meeting up with me.

Remembering each thing you sang about.

It killed me… you didn’t give me enough to go on

I didn’t fucking remember, you.

You, my person, my home, the one I never wanted to leave me.z

Now that I remember, I have a world of regrets.

Damnit, when I hit my head, on a damn fair ride..

It caused me to have out pouching in the arteries in the back my head…

One ride… made me miss the one I wanted

The one fucking decision, made me lose you.

Can you still blame me for not seeing you?

I’m sorry, please forgive me.

For what it’s worth I remember now.

Remembering, and putting this shit together…

Our memories, together. All the times you came for me?

It all hurts so bad. It’s like waking up from a fucking nightmare, and my knight, was you.

My knight, my heart, my brave heart… you took it with you.

I didn’t even know my heart was breaking.

But here I am.

So take me, or don’t… just don’t blame me.

Saying that I’m acting like I don’t know you…

Because I do, I remember. Fucking A I remember now….

How did this happen?

A heartbreak without even knowing it was happening?

Break the glass

So I broke the glass.

Why did I spend so many years in a room full of people who didn’t understand me, they may have claimed to love me but never could show it.

No alignment whatsoever, it was sad to see such unfit relationships ….

people draining each other in more ways than one, the confinement of a place, and a friendship, the likeness that everyone was suffering the same, the misery in the company of people who thought they didn’t fit it, who didn’t realize that it was a connection they were searching for in joy and not in disparity.

The darkness hiding in plain sight was rampant no rapport no soul connections only control being passed back and forth, a glass cage holding a piece of you …. yet no mirror to reflect the love you were giving others.

Truly a dark place, break the glass, the class is not your own, you are an individual and that is not something that defines your character… though at times …. depending on where you start, the rose tint may even cloud your whole vision, of reality… of the real world and the people in it.

So.. break the glass ceiling. Not with your hands but with your heart, it’s speaking to you, so listen or your heart may break instead.

Break the glass and free yourself.

This place, this life, your place & your light.

We all have our own issues and you really cannot put blame on people for acting in the way they need to, and don’t feel bad because really, in the grand scheme of things…

Their life is about them and your experience is not something they can control. You must take effort at face value, but not on your own terms, because life in all its essence is of our own and not one person knows the depth of a person, their hardships and connections that cause them pain, or happiness or joy.

That is the intrinsic way that our world works and allows us to decide. I know God has a path and the universe pushed you to or away from what is and is not meant for any person, however it is in their faith and hope that there is love, and meaning in the way it unfolds.

What’s meant for you will come, it just may not arrive in the way you had initially insisted, prayed or hoped.. but it will truly happen when hearts align, in whatever capacity that is needed. Be happy when you can, know your attitude places your experience of what is happening.

And where the mind goes will surly tell you what it wants, but it will not tell you the way, this is something you must know and believe in the magic of this place. Conscious, present, right now, and here, what a miracle life can be, be thankful for each day, each opportunity. Live well by you, not by others words telling you their truths, because remember… you have your own.