A note for you

If I had the chance to, I would have loved you.

With every sundown until every sun up.

You were the man of my dreams.

I hit my head, two concussions…

Had I remembered who you were then.

I would have loved you, I would have left him.

I didn’t remember, and I am torching my heart everyday thinking about it.

remembering you meeting up with me.

Remembering each thing you sang about.

It killed me… you didn’t give me enough to go on

I didn’t fucking remember, you.

You, my person, my home, the one I never wanted to leave me.z

Now that I remember, I have a world of regrets.

Damnit, when I hit my head, on a damn fair ride..

It caused me to have out pouching in the arteries in the back my head…

One ride… made me miss the one I wanted

The one fucking decision, made me lose you.

Can you still blame me for not seeing you?

I’m sorry, please forgive me.

For what it’s worth I remember now.

Remembering, and putting this shit together…

Our memories, together. All the times you came for me?

It all hurts so bad. It’s like waking up from a fucking nightmare, and my knight, was you.

My knight, my heart, my brave heart… you took it with you.

I didn’t even know my heart was breaking.

But here I am.

So take me, or don’t… just don’t blame me.

Saying that I’m acting like I don’t know you…

Because I do, I remember. Fucking A I remember now….

How did this happen?

A heartbreak without even knowing it was happening?

Run

If I had the means… I would run to you

If I had remembered sooner, I’d be closer

If I had your heart, I’d cherish it

If I had more time, I’d love you longer

If I had your smile near, I’d be unable to contain mine.

If I had you, I would never let you go.

If I had my way, we would meet again, and experience it all together, laughter, joy, blessings, love, family, friendship, intimacy, flirting contagiously, like the two most annoying people in the room. That’d be me and you, if I had my way… id have you.

Break the glass

So I broke the glass.

Why did I spend so many years in a room full of people who didn’t understand me, they may have claimed to love me but never could show it.

No alignment whatsoever, it was sad to see such unfit relationships ….

people draining each other in more ways than one, the confinement of a place, and a friendship, the likeness that everyone was suffering the same, the misery in the company of people who thought they didn’t fit it, who didn’t realize that it was a connection they were searching for in joy and not in disparity.

The darkness hiding in plain sight was rampant no rapport no soul connections only control being passed back and forth, a glass cage holding a piece of you …. yet no mirror to reflect the love you were giving others.

Truly a dark place, break the glass, the class is not your own, you are an individual and that is not something that defines your character… though at times …. depending on where you start, the rose tint may even cloud your whole vision, of reality… of the real world and the people in it.

So.. break the glass ceiling. Not with your hands but with your heart, it’s speaking to you, so listen or your heart may break instead.

Break the glass and free yourself.

Explicit Royal Court

Life me up onto the bridge with you

Drop in on me,

slowly making my heart beat

faster and faster

until our synergy’s matched

The quarter begins

and we’re not holding back

Telling you don’t give me any slack

pull me in closer harder more passion

I want all of you without submission

bring that heart boy

no class is in session and you and i

we’ll be teaching the lessons

so sit up lay down pay attention.

I like a man who can take direction

and when it’s your turn

I know you’ll love each and every

possession the physical

has a way with instinctual context,

and can you feel that percussion setting in?

Case set closed

this royal court is in session

I’m ready, what’s your decision?

This place, this life, your place & your light.

We all have our own issues and you really cannot put blame on people for acting in the way they need to, and don’t feel bad because really, in the grand scheme of things…

Their life is about them and your experience is not something they can control. You must take effort at face value, but not on your own terms, because life in all its essence is of our own and not one person knows the depth of a person, their hardships and connections that cause them pain, or happiness or joy.

That is the intrinsic way that our world works and allows us to decide. I know God has a path and the universe pushed you to or away from what is and is not meant for any person, however it is in their faith and hope that there is love, and meaning in the way it unfolds.

What’s meant for you will come, it just may not arrive in the way you had initially insisted, prayed or hoped.. but it will truly happen when hearts align, in whatever capacity that is needed. Be happy when you can, know your attitude places your experience of what is happening.

And where the mind goes will surly tell you what it wants, but it will not tell you the way, this is something you must know and believe in the magic of this place. Conscious, present, right now, and here, what a miracle life can be, be thankful for each day, each opportunity. Live well by you, not by others words telling you their truths, because remember… you have your own.