relationships – LIGHTHOUSE for SOMEONE

Fixing people

To be something they are not

Will only breed a darkened pane

Of the person they ‘should’ reflect

When you think of her

I’ll watch the turmoil in your very being

Bubble out like lava

Come the volcano, that we cling to

Watch the hurricane come and wipe away

Salted tears of hate and dismay

Because the thing about hurricanes

Is that they have a way of washing away everything

The pain the hate

The foundation lays in ruins

Of what was made

Yet you sit and ponder what was lost

What was ours, what is to be made

It’s here to stay, you say?

Well, all I see is change

So while you keep trying to fix something

That was built on ruins

I was creating the stage for a new way

For a heart that gets to stay

I hope you can say you did the same

Because when I come

I’ll wash it all away

The good the bad the pain and the hate

The gate is open

The tether is shredded

Because we are never the same

We are who we are in but a moment

There is nothing to be fixed but the way you see life in vein

Nothing stays the same so trying to fixate on

That day and create, is a beautiful date

But for me…

I was always in the making, without time to come back

Because in all realities we are in the present

Only… the rest is just a fixed facade of

Flight to escape the pain

For me this is no charade but a

Crash course to deal with deadly pain

So let’s see who stays when the day is done

When midnight fades to the next day.

Just you wait

Because all expectations and emotions

Stay unpaid until you come alive

And decide that this is

A sight that you want to stay,

We find ourselves in the waves…

Yet what you forgot to state…

Was this states of mind are like a cyclone

A spinning mind that continues to cycle

Just like the way the eye of the storm holds

An ever spinning hurricane of trust

When we spin, hands crossed and clasped

Until we’re too dizzy to hold on,

And we let go just to roll down the hill and lay

The evening away, and look to the stars shining in the sky

Doing the same, spinning to create

Paint splatters that way…

Like life without feeling like you went astray…

Because this astral body holds me

In the fixated way

Your eyes forever seeking my eyes

They way I’ve seen the world singing my songs

Back to me… on your stage

Sounds of pain, but the concept of connection

Is all that this humanity needs to say…

This life I lived like no other

This world is my home, and we’re here

So without further adulation

I must say… my love is fixated here with you

My world still turns the same way

The direction of love and my baby

My Zenith is you

So forever, I’ll look up to you

Because this foundation you’ve made

Holds me like two birds of a flame

You and I, and this story of fixation

Of a Phoenix to look in the mirror

Pray on her sheets

That tears were never cried in vain

That our string… was not forged in hello

But in everlasting joy, purity, glory, power and praise of the one

To whom we belong, our God above…

We whom he made.

So, I’m here. Please stay, your heart will beat my name

And my soul only calling one humans name

DJTK.

~ Lighthouse1215

20/03/2023

Only you

Only you.

Can silence me this way.

I used to let everyone.

But if this is unrequited love

You’ll cry when you see

what pain I’ve been hiding.

Should I publish it all,

so there’s no more moments

of darkness dwelling within me?

At this moment

with tears welling at the sides of my neck. Remember how a-like we were?

Do you believe that I am having a similar experience here?

On the confused side of the stick

where more than half the time

the images fuck with my head

more than bring in light?

Assumptions make us crack at the seams,

I pray the string holds. I pray that this string

is indestructible.

But if unrequited is what you think this is… I think you need the definition of passion.

Because it’s uncontrollable for me: our love.

My love for you.

Maybe I still don’t know… if it’s you.

Do you see mine, do your understand my plea?

Interrupt me, find me,

lose me, do whatever you have to.

I can’t hide

and find

that I’ve been all I need to see,

but wouldn’t cross the sea,

as I didn’t see

what was meant to be.

I’m sorry, don’t plea

just fight for me.

Until you see

and talk to me.

That’s all I need,

life and just glee.

Please just don’t

be mean to me,

and they’ll finally be

what they’re always meant to me.

To Someone

who finally cared about me,

eyes mine, all to blinded

by the many lies

to see what I gave up

For thee,

it’s infinite death to the mystery.

And now

it’s all going to make you believe.

Yeah, I save it for you.

Unless it was a dyre need

Delete it or talk it out?

Delete it or talk it out? Run from your life and don’t respond? Or have trust to your partner and in each other to respond in a respectful tone?

Relationships are tough, but our own personal views on situations like these are simple. Do differing views make us incompatible? Or just rigid and unable to grow up? Do you trust yourself to do the right thing? Have the right words to say?

Well fuck I don’t know but hearing that these differing viewpoints, caused a six year relationship to come to an end is a clear indication that whomever deleted it and never talked it out has something they aren’t willing to overcome, because it is evident that both parties came to this predicament before.

Pretty heartbreaking that responding, or “entertaining” others and not deleting anything looks “worse” on a persons character than hiding altogether. It’s pretty sad knowing and seeing something that was deleted and forced concealed come to light in the worst way. The irony is, that is what made me come to the conclusion it was over in the first place.

That he chose the wrong words, the wrong woman and “your man’s a cheater boo” is all I got out of it all. Yet it was never in the inbox, no opportunity to talk it out, no chance to give ME a fighting chance. So.. I’ll go, thanks for giving me a reason because my stubborn heart just wouldn’t let you go, until now. And now I’m free to hurt on my own.

Oceans away

I look out at the sky meeting the sea and all I can think of is the ocean’s

see youu’re

away from me again.

When will you let me make this right

you said no

and I didn’t like the way you let me go

You left me leave crying without you

I couldn’t bear,

the weight of the world coming back over my head again.

Why do you make me feel the pain you felt

when

I lost you all over again.

You saw me there, and you let me walk away again,

how can I trust a love that youu’re not believing in?

Let me make you see those years away we’re meant for you and me,

we’ll have our time

If only I could fly away

Move the world to make this right again.

We’d change the world

open’in all their eyes

The beauty here will not fade

if only you let all the light in

The moon is beautiful at night

but imagine the shining we could do in the daylight

if only you believed that you

belonged with me

Youu’re allowing the darkness to fade

what we had,

what we could be has only just begun.

The light is searching for someone

A lighthouse without

A way to reach the world

Fades to darknesses don’t let it fallout

Our world needs us now,

My world needs you

again,

so I’ll claim up to the sky

To reach my

Golden egg, will you help me climb

Back down again?

Please say you will, shine togetherness

And sing that love, with me.

Oceans Eyes

Move the world to make you right

We’d change the world

open’in all their eyes

what we could be has only just begun.

light’s searching for someone

This tale will never fade

let the light shine, refined, it’s time

pixel lines in her eyes

Too small to find

a letter sealed may sail

Rhythms breach the void

Move the world to make this right

We’d change the world

open’in all their eyes

what we could be has only just begun.

The light is searching for someone

The words of your heart,

forgive me if it is to say

My heart pounding here without your founding, my breath is shallow, As you likely see my heart

but my eyes speak to you

an old truth, one seen in the dark without the fire in your heart.

Move the world to make this right

We’d change the world

open’in all their eyes

what we could be has only just begun.

The light is searching for someone

I look out at the sky meeting the sea and all I can think of

is the ocean’s

you’re away from me.

Pedals revised, roses reborn

Sometimes we need time

for them to resurface..

because at the time

you have no understanding

of what even happened…

with time healing will come.

Unpacking… the way we open

the time capsule, of ourselves,

and have appreciation for our strength,

through it, and the course we chose to take

when we go through each parcel that we’ve

compartmentalized in our mind,

the maze of replanting each flower.

The thorns of our choices

and the beauty of each pedal of joy

as it falls to be reborn.

A note for you

If I had the chance to, I would have loved you.

With every sundown until every sun up.

You were the man of my dreams.

I hit my head, two concussions…

Had I remembered who you were then.

I would have loved you, I would have left him.

I didn’t remember, and I am torching my heart everyday thinking about it.

remembering you meeting up with me.

Remembering each thing you sang about.

It killed me… you didn’t give me enough to go on

I didn’t fucking remember, you.

You, my person, my home, the one I never wanted to leave me.z

Now that I remember, I have a world of regrets.

Damnit, when I hit my head, on a damn fair ride..

It caused me to have out pouching in the arteries in the back my head…

One ride… made me miss the one I wanted

The one fucking decision, made me lose you.

Can you still blame me for not seeing you?

I’m sorry, please forgive me.

For what it’s worth I remember now.

Remembering, and putting this shit together…

Our memories, together. All the times you came for me?

It all hurts so bad. It’s like waking up from a fucking nightmare, and my knight, was you.

My knight, my heart, my brave heart… you took it with you.

I didn’t even know my heart was breaking.

But here I am.

So take me, or don’t… just don’t blame me.

Saying that I’m acting like I don’t know you…

Because I do, I remember. Fucking A I remember now….

How did this happen?

A heartbreak without even knowing it was happening?

Run

If I had the means… I would run to you

If I had remembered sooner, I’d be closer

If I had your heart, I’d cherish it

If I had more time, I’d love you longer

If I had your smile near, I’d be unable to contain mine.

If I had you, I would never let you go.

If I had my way, we would meet again, and experience it all together, laughter, joy, blessings, love, family, friendship, intimacy, flirting contagiously, like the two most annoying people in the room. That’d be me and you, if I had my way… id have you.

Break the glass

So I broke the glass.

Why did I spend so many years in a room full of people who didn’t understand me, they may have claimed to love me but never could show it.

No alignment whatsoever, it was sad to see such unfit relationships ….

people draining each other in more ways than one, the confinement of a place, and a friendship, the likeness that everyone was suffering the same, the misery in the company of people who thought they didn’t fit it, who didn’t realize that it was a connection they were searching for in joy and not in disparity.

The darkness hiding in plain sight was rampant no rapport no soul connections only control being passed back and forth, a glass cage holding a piece of you …. yet no mirror to reflect the love you were giving others.

Truly a dark place, break the glass, the class is not your own, you are an individual and that is not something that defines your character… though at times …. depending on where you start, the rose tint may even cloud your whole vision, of reality… of the real world and the people in it.

So.. break the glass ceiling. Not with your hands but with your heart, it’s speaking to you, so listen or your heart may break instead.

Break the glass and free yourself.