Fixing people

Fixing people

To be something they are not

Will only breed a darkened pane

Of the person they ‘should’ reflect

When you think of her

I’ll watch the turmoil in your very being

Bubble out like lava

Come the volcano, that we cling to

Watch the hurricane come and wipe away

Salted tears of hate and dismay

Because the thing about hurricanes

Is that they have a way of washing away everything

The pain the hate

The foundation lays in ruins

Of what was made

Yet you sit and ponder what was lost

What was ours, what is to be made

It’s here to stay, you say?

Well, all I see is change

So while you keep trying to fix something

That was built on ruins

I was creating the stage for a new way

For a heart that gets to stay

I hope you can say you did the same

Because when I come

I’ll wash it all away

The good the bad the pain and the hate

The gate is open

The tether is shredded

Because we are never the same

We are who we are in but a moment

There is nothing to be fixed but the way you see life in vein

Nothing stays the same so trying to fixate on

That day and create, is a beautiful date

But for me…

I was always in the making, without time to come back

Because in all realities we are in the present

Only… the rest is just a fixed facade of

Flight to escape the pain

For me this is no charade but a

Crash course to deal with deadly pain

So let’s see who stays when the day is done

When midnight fades to the next day.

Just you wait

Because all expectations and emotions

Stay unpaid until you come alive

And decide that this is

A sight that you want to stay,

We find ourselves in the waves…

Yet what you forgot to state…

Was this states of mind are like a cyclone

A spinning mind that continues to cycle

Just like the way the eye of the storm holds

An ever spinning hurricane of trust

When we spin, hands crossed and clasped

Until we’re too dizzy to hold on,

And we let go just to roll down the hill and lay

The evening away, and look to the stars shining in the sky

Doing the same, spinning to create

Paint splatters that way…

Like life without feeling like you went astray…

Because this astral body holds me

In the fixated way

Your eyes forever seeking my eyes

They way I’ve seen the world singing my songs

Back to me… on your stage

Sounds of pain, but the concept of connection

Is all that this humanity needs to say…

This life I lived like no other

This world is my home, and we’re here

So without further adulation

I must say… my love is fixated here with you

My world still turns the same way

The direction of love and my baby

My Zenith is you

So forever, I’ll look up to you

Because this foundation you’ve made

Holds me like two birds of a flame

You and I, and this story of fixation

Of a Phoenix to look in the mirror

Pray on her sheets

That tears were never cried in vain

That our string… was not forged in hello

But in everlasting joy, purity, glory, power and praise of the one

To whom we belong, our God above…

We whom he made.

So, I’m here. Please stay, your heart will beat my name

And my soul only calling one humans name

DJTK.

~ Lighthouse1215

20/03/2023

Burn Higher

My heart

Is a willow tree

My leaves are on fire

I’m sick of this game.

My flames burning higher

See my pain

I laugh and perspired

The heat coming off me

It’s molten

Core heat

Dare to try your trance?

Don’t play

with my heart

This world

watches your ways

The universe is tired

Of the way

You go your own way.

The one who comes

Tried to take me

Said this world it

doesn’t deserve me.

I called out to you

I stayed for this fire

For my family

This island, our love

I said no, I believe

They will have redemption.

I called out to go back

Pleaded for my return

I heard my family’s voices

I called them and

Calling me back.

It was my decision

I stayed

Im fighting

for this world

Y’all think

this is a game.

So I’ll pick who wins

Watch and pray

that I let you

Stay and play.

You are worthy if

You stay kind

Humble,

with peace.

Hunt me?

Oh please,

I already

Haunt your dreams.

Written 09/17/22

Of A Dream

Do you see mine, do your understand my plea?

Interrupt me, find me,

lose me, do whatever you have to.

I can’t hide

and find

that I’ve been all I need to see,

but wouldn’t cross the sea,

as I didn’t see

what was meant to be.

I’m sorry, don’t plea

just fight for me.

Until you see

and talk to me.

That’s all I need,

life and just glee.

Please just don’t

be mean to me,

and they’ll finally be

what they’re always meant to me.

To Someone

who finally cared about me,

eyes mine, all to blinded

by the many lies

to see what I gave up

For thee,

it’s infinite death to the mystery.

And now

it’s all going to make you believe.

Yeah, I save it for you.

Unless it was a dyre need

Delete it or talk it out?

Delete it or talk it out? Run from your life and don’t respond? Or have trust to your partner and in each other to respond in a respectful tone?

Relationships are tough, but our own personal views on situations like these are simple. Do differing views make us incompatible? Or just rigid and unable to grow up? Do you trust yourself to do the right thing? Have the right words to say?

Well fuck I don’t know but hearing that these differing viewpoints, caused a six year relationship to come to an end is a clear indication that whomever deleted it and never talked it out has something they aren’t willing to overcome, because it is evident that both parties came to this predicament before.

Pretty heartbreaking that responding, or “entertaining” others and not deleting anything looks “worse” on a persons character than hiding altogether. It’s pretty sad knowing and seeing something that was deleted and forced concealed come to light in the worst way. The irony is, that is what made me come to the conclusion it was over in the first place.

That he chose the wrong words, the wrong woman and “your man’s a cheater boo” is all I got out of it all. Yet it was never in the inbox, no opportunity to talk it out, no chance to give ME a fighting chance. So.. I’ll go, thanks for giving me a reason because my stubborn heart just wouldn’t let you go, until now. And now I’m free to hurt on my own.

Social Media… A Rant

“Sometimes there is so much more to life, and many generations after mine.. will never receive those gifts. A wise person once said, “Look up…” before the world passes you by.” – H.M.L. Murphy

When I think about all the time I’ve spent on other people who didn’t give a rat’s ass why I was doing it, it makes me realize how little my time meant to these self-deprecating, leeches that are just happy that you choose them. People were made to give what they can and to celebrate who they are without defining themselves by a tiny piece of what this earth should mean to them. Things. Big things small things, nice things, fancy things, things that make you look good, things that make you feel good.

Well, to tell you the truth these things are building people up in a way that is insufficient for life on this planet we call earth. We have begun to feed into the egotistical part of “keeping up” with whatever it is in the media that we find to be ‘important’ or ‘relevant’ this is keeping the world blind, there still has been no change in the problems that we face, and the thing is that the stories just continue to get worse and more embarrassing for humanity. So… wake up, and just do it.

FOCUS on something other than your phone screen, because it will change your perspective about yourself and your media addiction, that get away that you have always wanted to plan, don’t waste it staring at another screen that has occupied you long enough for it to be a part of your relationship, a part of your team, that is… referred to as a personal relationship. I’m sure you would get the words out that you have needed to say for the past few weeks, if you could hold the attention of your significant other long enough to have these important conversations… rather than allowing them to build up into a ball of emotional wreck. 

If you post on social media how you are feeling… it is typically because you are not spending enough time on the things you love or the people who matter to you most. You are venting to an endless realm of “look at me”, I feel sorry for you. If you are out there trying to inspire, create or promote self-awareness, good for you, hopefully you are actually practicing the preach of your Facebook timeline. 

The virus

That virus that infected all…

I felt it creep up, in my blood

Bobb up and down, in my throat

with the Jameson, that I chased IT down WITH

I fought, And i cussed it out

and-gave it ALL hell.

I started to feel it at Al’s,

slowly breakin’ me down

Eatin’ away at my fluids, and I couldn’t construe it.

I feel it in my head, it’s got me question’n,

my sight, when I never did.

No sleeep WITHout you,

let me run back to you.

You let me down,

and I let you in, no restriction.

Yet I feel it now,

and it’s break in’ me down.

How could I, let this through ?

The phi delt’ it’s felt, my God..

oh no, here it comes..

A-nother oneee.

A brewed so bold,

that it takes a hold,

will I let it in?

And Get,

Underneath my skin.

If I do, you all know

I’ll FIGHT, as if it’s for my life.

If it brings be down,

just know that-I hate you now.

Oh it’s pool-in blood, on my Achilles-tenDone.

What am I to do-now but

Try and run

and try to stomp it out?!

Oh Covid 19, let me tell you,

you’re not a dream, but-a true nightmare

that we ALL-just totally, fuck-Ing care.

If you can, I’ll doubt me now..

Then I’ll-just, go all out,

and make-you eat it up

All the white-and inosi-tal.

Yeah-It fuck-ing, broke me down

and I know you can’t-go now..

but this one..-It,

killed me too,

and I have no doubt,

it has a hold of you.

As if you EVEn-care.

You’re my walkING-Nightmare.

I stare and gaze, Ahround

like a FuCKINg dog hound.

WTF is Happening, is this IN fectTINg Me.

Like a Moose With A Muffin Like,

The fucking Dominos-A tumblin’

Insomnia (feat Parson James) By: Audien

https://youtu.be/4kRQh8ZNiJkhttps://youtu.be/4kRQh8ZNiJk

Where are we? Not here nor there, together? Not yet…

My jaw tight

The atmosphere clear

My eyes tear

The moon is near

My flame burns

The stars glimmer

My pain steers

The hurt revers

My hope reappears

The time is here

My love will bear

The trees hear

My heart pounds

With the thought of you here…

Oceans Eyes

Move the world to make you right

We’d change the world

open’in all their eyes

what we could be has only just begun.

light’s searching for someone

This tale will never fade

let the light shine, refined, it’s time

pixel lines in her eyes

Too small to find

a letter sealed may sail

Rhythms breach the void

Move the world to make this right

We’d change the world

open’in all their eyes

what we could be has only just begun.

The light is searching for someone

The words of your heart,

forgive me if it is to say

My heart pounding here without your founding, my breath is shallow, As you likely see my heart

but my eyes speak to you

an old truth, one seen in the dark without the fire in your heart.

Move the world to make this right

We’d change the world

open’in all their eyes

what we could be has only just begun.

The light is searching for someone

I look out at the sky meeting the sea and all I can think of

is the ocean’s

you’re away from me.

The “What if” of Me.

Lions, Panthers, and Bears..

Oh My? Oh Me? What is this, your sight set to see?

The Luck, The Rocket, The Roller coaster, Glee?

The Microphone, The words you speak? A call, a thank you, to set the score right, oh what about me?

A Castle, A Map, A paradise to reach?

I’ll see you there, YOUR if only… I guess we’ll see.

🦁♟🧸

🎤🎙☎️

🎰🚀🎢

🏰🗺🏝

💟♐️♐️✝️💜🤍🖤💜☯️🌂🕺🏻🦸🏼‍♀️🫀

A note for you

If I had the chance to, I would have loved you.

With every sundown until every sun up.

You were the man of my dreams.

I hit my head, two concussions…

Had I remembered who you were then.

I would have loved you, I would have left him.

I didn’t remember, and I am torching my heart everyday thinking about it.

remembering you meeting up with me.

Remembering each thing you sang about.

It killed me… you didn’t give me enough to go on

I didn’t fucking remember, you.

You, my person, my home, the one I never wanted to leave me.z

Now that I remember, I have a world of regrets.

Damnit, when I hit my head, on a damn fair ride..

It caused me to have out pouching in the arteries in the back my head…

One ride… made me miss the one I wanted

The one fucking decision, made me lose you.

Can you still blame me for not seeing you?

I’m sorry, please forgive me.

For what it’s worth I remember now.

Remembering, and putting this shit together…

Our memories, together. All the times you came for me?

It all hurts so bad. It’s like waking up from a fucking nightmare, and my knight, was you.

My knight, my heart, my brave heart… you took it with you.

I didn’t even know my heart was breaking.

But here I am.

So take me, or don’t… just don’t blame me.

Saying that I’m acting like I don’t know you…

Because I do, I remember. Fucking A I remember now….

How did this happen?

A heartbreak without even knowing it was happening?