Fixing people

Fixing people

To be something they are not

Will only breed a darkened pane

Of the person they ‘should’ reflect

When you think of her

I’ll watch the turmoil in your very being

Bubble out like lava

Come the volcano, that we cling to

Watch the hurricane come and wipe away

Salted tears of hate and dismay

Because the thing about hurricanes

Is that they have a way of washing away everything

The pain the hate

The foundation lays in ruins

Of what was made

Yet you sit and ponder what was lost

What was ours, what is to be made

It’s here to stay, you say?

Well, all I see is change

So while you keep trying to fix something

That was built on ruins

I was creating the stage for a new way

For a heart that gets to stay

I hope you can say you did the same

Because when I come

I’ll wash it all away

The good the bad the pain and the hate

The gate is open

The tether is shredded

Because we are never the same

We are who we are in but a moment

There is nothing to be fixed but the way you see life in vein

Nothing stays the same so trying to fixate on

That day and create, is a beautiful date

But for me…

I was always in the making, without time to come back

Because in all realities we are in the present

Only… the rest is just a fixed facade of

Flight to escape the pain

For me this is no charade but a

Crash course to deal with deadly pain

So let’s see who stays when the day is done

When midnight fades to the next day.

Just you wait

Because all expectations and emotions

Stay unpaid until you come alive

And decide that this is

A sight that you want to stay,

We find ourselves in the waves…

Yet what you forgot to state…

Was this states of mind are like a cyclone

A spinning mind that continues to cycle

Just like the way the eye of the storm holds

An ever spinning hurricane of trust

When we spin, hands crossed and clasped

Until we’re too dizzy to hold on,

And we let go just to roll down the hill and lay

The evening away, and look to the stars shining in the sky

Doing the same, spinning to create

Paint splatters that way…

Like life without feeling like you went astray…

Because this astral body holds me

In the fixated way

Your eyes forever seeking my eyes

They way I’ve seen the world singing my songs

Back to me… on your stage

Sounds of pain, but the concept of connection

Is all that this humanity needs to say…

This life I lived like no other

This world is my home, and we’re here

So without further adulation

I must say… my love is fixated here with you

My world still turns the same way

The direction of love and my baby

My Zenith is you

So forever, I’ll look up to you

Because this foundation you’ve made

Holds me like two birds of a flame

You and I, and this story of fixation

Of a Phoenix to look in the mirror

Pray on her sheets

That tears were never cried in vain

That our string… was not forged in hello

But in everlasting joy, purity, glory, power and praise of the one

To whom we belong, our God above…

We whom he made.

So, I’m here. Please stay, your heart will beat my name

And my soul only calling one humans name

DJTK.

~ Lighthouse1215

20/03/2023

Burn Higher

My heart

Is a willow tree

My leaves are on fire

I’m sick of this game.

My flames burning higher

See my pain

I laugh and perspired

The heat coming off me

It’s molten

Core heat

Dare to try your trance?

Don’t play

with my heart

This world

watches your ways

The universe is tired

Of the way

You go your own way.

The one who comes

Tried to take me

Said this world it

doesn’t deserve me.

I called out to you

I stayed for this fire

For my family

This island, our love

I said no, I believe

They will have redemption.

I called out to go back

Pleaded for my return

I heard my family’s voices

I called them and

Calling me back.

It was my decision

I stayed

Im fighting

for this world

Y’all think

this is a game.

So I’ll pick who wins

Watch and pray

that I let you

Stay and play.

You are worthy if

You stay kind

Humble,

with peace.

Hunt me?

Oh please,

I already

Haunt your dreams.

Written 09/17/22

Of A Dream

Only you

Only you.

Can silence me this way.

I used to let everyone.

But if this is unrequited love

You’ll cry when you see

what pain I’ve been hiding.

Should I publish it all,

so there’s no more moments

of darkness dwelling within me?

At this moment

with tears welling at the sides of my neck. Remember how a-like we were?

Do you believe that I am having a similar experience here?

On the confused side of the stick

where more than half the time

the images fuck with my head

more than bring in light?

Assumptions make us crack at the seams,

I pray the string holds. I pray that this string

is indestructible.

But if unrequited is what you think this is… I think you need the definition of passion.

Because it’s uncontrollable for me: our love.

My love for you.

Maybe I still don’t know… if it’s you.

Delete it or talk it out?

Delete it or talk it out? Run from your life and don’t respond? Or have trust to your partner and in each other to respond in a respectful tone?

Relationships are tough, but our own personal views on situations like these are simple. Do differing views make us incompatible? Or just rigid and unable to grow up? Do you trust yourself to do the right thing? Have the right words to say?

Well fuck I don’t know but hearing that these differing viewpoints, caused a six year relationship to come to an end is a clear indication that whomever deleted it and never talked it out has something they aren’t willing to overcome, because it is evident that both parties came to this predicament before.

Pretty heartbreaking that responding, or “entertaining” others and not deleting anything looks “worse” on a persons character than hiding altogether. It’s pretty sad knowing and seeing something that was deleted and forced concealed come to light in the worst way. The irony is, that is what made me come to the conclusion it was over in the first place.

That he chose the wrong words, the wrong woman and “your man’s a cheater boo” is all I got out of it all. Yet it was never in the inbox, no opportunity to talk it out, no chance to give ME a fighting chance. So.. I’ll go, thanks for giving me a reason because my stubborn heart just wouldn’t let you go, until now. And now I’m free to hurt on my own.

Today, was hard. Keep Going.

Holding on by a thread, making time

Wasting life, instead

Hurting, walking bleeding red

Trying to make sense of it all

Time passed, a lost connection

Missing pieces, all the attractions

Keeping busy, fire fighting

You sorry lost soul, don’t stop finding.

Your heart may hurt, but mine was stolen

If you see it now, lead the way, cause life just ain’t the same

Without you here, ohh I’m

Hurting, walking bleeding red,

Trying to make sense of it all,

Time passed, a lost connection

Missing pieces, all the attractions

Find me now, I won’t stop fighting, if you can hear me now I need my knight, my armor is worn

I won’t stop fighting, rivers cutting deep

These rough edges are smooth, I’m coming home soon.

Will you go home with me?

Take me home.

Where are we? Not here nor there, together? Not yet…

My jaw tight

The atmosphere clear

My eyes tear

The moon is near

My flame burns

The stars glimmer

My pain steers

The hurt revers

My hope reappears

The time is here

My love will bear

The trees hear

My heart pounds

With the thought of you here…

Oceans Eyes

Move the world to make you right

We’d change the world

open’in all their eyes

what we could be has only just begun.

light’s searching for someone

This tale will never fade

let the light shine, refined, it’s time

pixel lines in her eyes

Too small to find

a letter sealed may sail

Rhythms breach the void

Move the world to make this right

We’d change the world

open’in all their eyes

what we could be has only just begun.

The light is searching for someone

The words of your heart,

forgive me if it is to say

My heart pounding here without your founding, my breath is shallow, As you likely see my heart

but my eyes speak to you

an old truth, one seen in the dark without the fire in your heart.

Move the world to make this right

We’d change the world

open’in all their eyes

what we could be has only just begun.

The light is searching for someone

I look out at the sky meeting the sea and all I can think of

is the ocean’s

you’re away from me.

A note for you

If I had the chance to, I would have loved you.

With every sundown until every sun up.

You were the man of my dreams.

I hit my head, two concussions…

Had I remembered who you were then.

I would have loved you, I would have left him.

I didn’t remember, and I am torching my heart everyday thinking about it.

remembering you meeting up with me.

Remembering each thing you sang about.

It killed me… you didn’t give me enough to go on

I didn’t fucking remember, you.

You, my person, my home, the one I never wanted to leave me.z

Now that I remember, I have a world of regrets.

Damnit, when I hit my head, on a damn fair ride..

It caused me to have out pouching in the arteries in the back my head…

One ride… made me miss the one I wanted

The one fucking decision, made me lose you.

Can you still blame me for not seeing you?

I’m sorry, please forgive me.

For what it’s worth I remember now.

Remembering, and putting this shit together…

Our memories, together. All the times you came for me?

It all hurts so bad. It’s like waking up from a fucking nightmare, and my knight, was you.

My knight, my heart, my brave heart… you took it with you.

I didn’t even know my heart was breaking.

But here I am.

So take me, or don’t… just don’t blame me.

Saying that I’m acting like I don’t know you…

Because I do, I remember. Fucking A I remember now….

How did this happen?

A heartbreak without even knowing it was happening?